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Movements do not move relentlessly forward progress comes and, just as swiftly, goes. I recall all this now simply to rebut the entire line of being “on the right side of history.” History does not have such straight lines. Bush subsequently went even further and embraced the Federal Marriage Amendment to permanently ensure second-class citizenship for gay people in America. The Clintons embraced the Defense of Marriage Act, and their Justice Department declared that DOMA was in no way unconstitutional the morning some of us were testifying against it on Capitol Hill. Much of the gay left was deeply suspicious of this conservative-sounding reform two thirds of the country were opposed the religious right saw in the issue a unique opportunity for political leverage – and over time, they put state constitutional amendments against marriage equality on the ballot in countless states, and won every time. In fact, we lost and lost and lost again.
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And when we won, and got our first fact on the ground, we indeed faced exactly that backlash and all the major gay rights groups refused to spend a dime on protecting the breakthrough … and we lost. A local straight attorney from the ACLU, Dan Foley, took it up instead, one of many straight men and women who helped make this happen. No gay group had agreed to support the case, which was regarded at best as hopeless and at worst, a recipe for a massive backlash. Then a breakthrough in Hawaii, where the state supreme court ruled for marriage equality on gender equality grounds. A young fellow named Evan Wolfson who had written a dissertation on the subject in 1983 got in touch, and the world immediately felt less lonely. “This is the loopiest idea ever to come down the pike,” he joked. It was Crossfire, as I recall, and Gary Bauer’s response to my rather earnest argument after my TNR cover-story on the matter was laughter.
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I remember one of the first TV debates I had on the then-strange question of civil marriage for gay couples.